A Series of Tubes

Ha! I'm back, bitches! I seem to get a ton of hits on the other CFH entries, from people looking for "fantasy harem" and occasionally "celebrity harem," so why not make my comeback (don't call it a comeback!) with a new crop of potentially embarrassing celebrity menz? Where did I leave off? Oh yeah...

11. Brendon Small
"Home Movies" and Metalocalypse? Yes, please.

12. David Cook
You know, I really did a 180 on this guy over the course of the Idol season. At the beginning I thought he was a poseur, and I called him a douchebag on Twitter (I'd link to that post, but Twitter's recovering from another crash and disabled a ton of features.) Then he got a haircut and looked better. Then I started liking his singing. By the end of the season, he was downright nooshable. That means exactly what you think it means. Special note: Mr. Cook is the first CFH inductee who is younger than I am. Congratulations, I guess.

13. Bob Behnken
Okay, I actually feel kinda bad about this one. Because, seriously, an astronaut? You know, you work all hard and get a PhD. and have a career in the Air Force and go work at NASA and go to space, and how does the Internet reward you? With an appearance in some crazy woman's Man Harem. I'm sorry.



I'd still hit it, though.

14 Jim Vandermeer
Go to about 1:15 of that video. You know I love me some hockey players. And I love me some hockey fights, too. Also younger, but only by a few months, so that doesn't really count.

15. Martin Sargent, circa 2002
Remember, alternate universe rules apply. I can pick anyone from any point on the space-time continuum, from any conceivable reality where they're not involved with someone else or a drug addict or stupid any other thing I don't like. So Martin Sargent enters the Harem from the time when he did a good job guest hosting The Screensavers and Call For Help and didn't act dumb or have the haircut he's sporting these days.

You know when they edit movies for TV, how they slip in other words that kind of have the same syllable structure as the cuss words? They should put Mother Hubbard in for motherfucker. Or maybe they already do. I don't know; the videos in this post don't have anything to do with each other, and I can't think of a good introduction. So there.

1. Pambo- Tras Nubes
I work at night, and we have a crappy cable package at City Hall, so there's not a lot to watch. One channel we do have is Univision, and every morning at 5 they have a video show called "Tu Desayuno Alegre" that shows some awesome videos. This is a song that was good enough that I got the album.

2. Eros Ramazzotti & Ricky Martin- No Estamos Solos
Same with this song, except I didn't buy the album. Oh, and here's the Italian version, Non Siamo Soli.

3. OTZ Memories
I made this one for a holiday gift exchange on a forum I frequent. It's a collection of pictures from the forum and of the celebrities we "love".

4. Joan as Policewoman- The Ride
Lookit! It's Joan Wasser from the Dambuilders! And Mind Science of the Mind! Nothing really to do with this video, but a while back my mom was at my house making CDs and she was going through my music collection on iTunes, when she came upon MSotM. She asked "Mind Science of the Mind, what songs got radio play?" Um, none of them, mom. Only in the most awesome alternate universe did that happen.

5. Snoop Dogg- Sensual Seduction
I actually had to explain this video to someone the other day.

6. Wide Mouth Mason on Jonovision
Those were the days. Back when I could pretend I was Canadian. Funny, though, I wanted to be Canadian when it wasn't embarrassing to be American. Now that I want to be proud of my country, we've got Dubya. I can't win.

7.
Because I want you to watch this right now. It's "Hold Me in Your Arms" by The Trews.

Very intermittent posting here, no? I'm just lazy lately. Here's some stuff:

1. Yoshi
"You don't live in a castle, do? Yoshi can't go in those."

2. Boss Hog- I Dig You
Guess who's been going though some old video tapes lately?

3. The State- International Signs
I don't know why MTV decided they weren't putting the DVDs out. I emailed them, but I haven't heard back from merchandising. The people at the storefront were very prompt, though. Good for them.

4. FatalFarm's Doogie Howser, M.D. intro
I know the Golden Girls one is the most famous, but this one made me laugh so hard.

5. The Tragically Hip- The Darkest One
The Hip, Trailer Park Boys, and Don Cherry. This is the most Canadian thing ever.

6. Kansas Natural Gas Drilling
I'm wondering why this got made. It's trying to be all cinematic and artistic, and it's just dudes drilling for natural gas somewhere around here. Kinda pretty looking, though.

7. English Translation of "K.K. Soul"
I'm obsessed with Animal Crossing: Wild World right now. But I don't have any friends to visit! Won't somebody share friend codes with me?

8. Walter Johnson's Home
What's left of the place where famous baseball player Walter Johnson was born and raised. Really, this is what most of the monuments in my county look like. Just a rock and a plaque. I noticed the road sign at the corner was down.

9. Nirvana- All Apologies (Unplugged)
Remember, there was about a year in there when you couldn't watch MTV for an hour without seeing this video? Remember when MTV played videos most of the day, not just the dead of night? I'm old.

10. Groove Coverage- 21st Century Digital Girl
From the 'Unnecessary Covers" department. I mean seriously. WTF? Cleanse your palates with some Bad Religion originals.

Here are some live videos, y'all:

1. Dr. Hook- Cover of the Rolling Stone
Drugs are bad, kids, mmmkay?

2. New Kids on the Block- Funky Funky Christmas
On Arsenio, with a guest rap by the man himself! Oh, the memories. Jon was sick, so he's not onstage. Or something like that.

3. Shudder to Think- Jade Dust Eyes
From original guitarist Chris Matthews's last show with the band.

4. The Trews- Montebello Park
Unplugged and awesome.

5. Sloan- If It Feels Good Do It
For people who know what Rock and Roll is about.

6. Guster- Barrel of a Gun
Or 43 seconds of it anyway. The important thing is that I was at that show. They came onstage to the Rock Chalk chant. I have video of most of "Airport Song" from that night on my computer. Maybe I should put that up.

What? Just because I don't post anything here (or on most of my other blogs) for a month and a half doesn't mean I've gone away. It means I'm lazy as hell, and I've been playing my DS way too much. So, here's some stuff:

1. If Business Meetings Were Like Internet Comments
My only disappointment with this is that nobody compared anyone or anything to Hitler.

2. Border Collies
My sister and her border collie are staying with me temporarily (very temporarily, I hope,) and that damn dog can't do any of the cool tricks in that video. She's only four months old, but still. She's very good at tearing stuff up and peeing on stuff on the floor.

3. Nighttime Tornados
One of these went right by my parents' house, because tornados always go right by my parents' house. They didn't start doing that until I moved out, though. Here's the radar analysis.

4. The State- MTV Sports
Kevin Allison as Dan Cortese. Awesome. Y'all? The State's coming out on DVD. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Every time something reminds me of the show, I remember that October can't come soon enough. Not that I don't still have most of the episodes on VHS, but DVD! Yay!

5. Demetri Martin- Person (excerpt)
I (heart) Demetri Martin. Nothing else to say there, really. Just love him. That's going on my iPod.

6. Drum and Bass Tutorial- Part One
I'm getting into it a little. I was actually looking for a Bass is Base video, but alas, no Funkmobile for you.

7. Le Petit Prince- The Musical!
I really couldn't make it past part one. That "It's a hat" song was too much.

8. Shudder to Think- She's a Skull acoustic
This is from the 50,000 B.C. enhanced disc features. Do they still make enhanced discs, or did downloading kill that? Because I have a bunch of enhanced discs that were all released from about 1994 to 1998, then they stopped being made.

9. I Mother Earth- Raspberry
This song is from an enhanced CD, too (Scenery and Fish). Edwin is looking fine as hell in this video, even in the checkered pants and shiny vinyl shirt.

10. Olivia- Sea Me
I think I like the (all) English version better, but it's still good. Also worth checking out is Olivia's sister Caroline.

There's a theme here, I guess. We're going around the world through videos.

1. Daft Punk- Around the World
That's kind of cheating, I guess, but establishing theme through literalism is just fine here. And the video is awesome. And the choreography is so simple that it makes me think that I could have made it. Except I probably couldn't have. But it's still fun to dream.

2. Erasure- A Little Respect
I make mix CDs, both for others and for myself. The ones I make for myself are often just a bunch of songs I've recently added to my collection along with some old favorites I've been into around the time the disc is made, and they're mostly made to listen to in the shower. My point here is that this song is on the one I've been listening to for the last few days, and it's pretty much stuck in my head. I really like Erasure. Our trip around the world begins in England, apparently. I'm not really married to the theme here.

3. Finland
I really want to go to Finland. Right now. Let's go.

4. Thai Optical Center Commercial
Um, wow. I don't know that we could have this one here. It might show up on cable or something, but not so much with the broadcast TV. It was funny, though.

5. One Reason I'm Glad I Don't Play in City Band Anymore
Because my ass would be on youtube playing this crap. Also, they play the same songs every freakin' year. Why are the old people so good at playing that stuff with only one rehearsal? Because they've played it every year since 1951. I quit after three years of it.

6. Inuit Throat Singing (Canada)
I think some enterprising hip hop artist or producer should latch onto this stuff and sample it for their songs. Unsolicited rap sampling idea 2: The "players only love you when they're playing" line from Fleetwood Mac's song "Dreams." Although a quick google tells me that Crazytown kind of did that. But Crazytown doesn't count. Ever.

7. Cheb Khaled- Aicha
From North Africa. Also see what Outlandish did with the song.

8. New Zealand
After Finland, we're totally going here. Who's with me?

9. Antarctica in 5 Minutes
The Hero's Grave in Terranigma is in Antarctica. That's the only Antarctica-related fact I can think of right now.

10. Sandy e Junior- Nada Vai me Sufocar
And South America (Brazil, specifically) rounds out the list.

I've been getting multiple hits on this blog by people searching for "fantasy tubes." I've tried googling it myself, and I can't figure out what the hell that means. Anybody care to enlighten me? I'm thinking it's pornographic somehow, am I right? I'm not easily offended by sex-type things, so don't skimp on the details.

Now watch the opening credits of "Head of the Class"

I thought, as a young child in the gifted program, that this is what high school would be like for us. I was wrong.

PS- That's about the last time I'll embed a video in a post. I'm only doing it here because it's the only video in the post.